Be mine

God bless my mother, she saved everything. These are my own personal valentines given to me in the '60s by my classmates. Back then we decorated boxes for our valentines. There was a prize for the best one, decided by the teacher. Or maybe we voted, I don't remember. I remember I never won, which really irked me. And then everyone paraded around the classroom dropping valentines into each others boxes. Later, on the bus, we'd open them and read them like tea leaves. Hmmm that one from Chuck has three hearts on it--does that mean he likes me? Or LIKE-likes me? Peter's says he has a "yen" for me--ewwwww! And the one from Barbara--she's popular--has a girl with a cool phone on it. Does that mean she thinks I'm cool, too?

Of course, your best friend always gave you the one with the prettiest girl on it. That's what made her your best friend.

Back to the valentines boxes. When it comes to art, I am really good at copying--not so great at being original. I don't mean stealing and taking credit for something. When someone compliments me on an arrangement of objects in my living room I'll readily tell them I saw it in a magazine. If they rave about the color of my bedroom walls, I tell them they can find it on a backdrop at Pottery Barn.

But I am NEVER the person who thinks up the new trend, the new twist, the original artistic thought. I remember one year I covered my valentine box with paper lace, red ribbons, and hearts. You just couldn't GET more valentiney than that. But Barbara Davies--my nemesis--made her valentine box look like Snoopy's house, with a cardboard Snoopy sleeping on top. Of course, she won. The next year, I made a Snoopy house just like Barbara's, and of course I didn't win. It was a beautiful box--just perfect--but not original. Someone with a paper lace-covered box won.

As this sort of experience has repeated itself throughout my life, I have come to ask, Can originality be learned? You can study techniques, erase and do over, silence your inner critic. You can get better at art. But can you improve your ability to be original?

As I struggle to put together this piece of art that expresses me, I try to breathe, let go of expectations, banish critical thoughts, and just go with what is me, and with the tools and talents I have. I try to go into a meditative state to capture that original thought. But it's like trying to make yourself fall asleep--the harder you try to make it happen, the more elusive it is.

I think I need to find a best friend for my art. Someone to tell me SHE thinks mine's the prettiest valentine's box. Hmmm....where did those children go...they're still at an age where everything Mom does is the best....

Comments

[Jackie]

What fun!
What a wonderful mother!!! :-)
I love all those Valentines. They are so much nicer than todays Valentines.
I am going to have your picture be my desktop wallpaper for the next few days. :-)

XOXO

[Kathleen]

Hi again, thank you for your comment on my other blog Yesteryear Embroideries at blogspot.com. So good to have you drop by. I just love vintage Valentine and Christmas cards. They are so much more cheery and seem to have had more work put into them than today's cards.blessins, Kathleen

[Connie]

What a wonderful collection of Valentines!! I wished I still had all of mine. That sweet little puppy is adorable. Stop by and take a look at our little Katie!! Had a great visit!! Connie

[Loretta]

I would give anything to have my old Valentines! What a wonderful mother to save those for you.

Your story reminds me of when we all took Home Ec in 7th grade. We had to make elastic waist skirts. I picked out a large print of apples in a citrusy green. I thought it was fabulous till I got to school and all the girls had made Laura Ashley print skirts.

One time when being original was so NOT cool!

[Jen Jackson]

I would love to be your art's best friend. I understand about being unable to be creatively original. I feel like I always see ideas and think, I could do that, but I never think of it first.
I can tell you this though Cate, you are the Barbara Davies of blogging. I love your writing. Besides, her mom probably made that snoopy box!
Have a wonderful day!